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I am a girl. I read comics.

I love my comic store job. Really. Best job ever.

But sometimes I feel like a circus freak.

'The Girl Wonder: Reads Comics, and Actually Knows What the Fuck She's Talking About! This Way!'

It's not evident immediately, of course. And yet, over the course of a few months, there are minute things I notice: long conversations that my male coworkers have with customers that never seem to happen with me. An immediacy of their taking recommendations from men, as opposed to me. The assistant general manager indicating my presence by saying simply, 'the girl'. Which is apparently enough.

It's like there is some vast 'no girls allowed' club that I've been allowed entry into by virute of being hired.

Don't get me wrong. I do my job very well. I sling comics onto shelves and pull them off by publisher. I've even nailed the habit of picking a book up by the front instead of the spine so I don't 'bend' it too much for collectors. And yet... something is missing.

I wish I could understand it. I've never felt that my female anatomy mattered. I grew up in a family that let me play dolls or play in the mud-- whichever I was in the mood for. And now to be suddenly judged and sometimes even ignored due to being a chick? Foreign ground. Never happened before.

I was just linked to an episode of the Big Bang Theory which drove the point home. They went to a comic book store. The girl was predictably clueless. The superhero trivia they were throwing around wasn't even that convoluted, but it was supposed to be funny. I felt bad because the clerk mentioned Hellblazer and I was like OMFG I LOVE HELLBLAZER. WHAT IS SO FUNNY ABOUT HELLBLAZER.

Why aren't there more women who read comics? Have they SEEN some of the emotional, fucked-up awesomeness that comes out of these stories? Harley Quinn, for gods' sake! Deadpool and his dry humor! The fucking ZOMBIES, man! Why did it take a live action film for girls to appreciate the awesomeness of Captain America and Thor? Thor's been hot for years, ladies! He still is! Read the comics!

And while you're at it, read some French and Japanese comics, too, because language is the only barrier and black & white is just another medium.

Not all of us turn every comic book into a political diatribe. Characters do what they do. Sometimes fiction is just fiction.

[As for my thoughts on the New 52, I love how DC is skewing dark, and the formerly boring obscure characters are being brought to the forefront to wreak havok and make shit interesting again. Superman is kind of an ass, and I like that. Geoff Johns will give Aquaman his due. I still don't give a fuck about Green Lantern. Or Spiderman. Just started reading X-Men again for the first time in years. And Secret Avengers, well, Warren Ellis is writing it, so how can I resist?]


Everything sucks.

I was all happy coming home from work today and thought I would be productive, but.

D&G is closing and being integrated in Dolce & Gabbana's main line. Being sad about this may seem superficial, but for me, it's like a favorite band breaking up. I feel so at home in that store. It's like my comfort zone. I can't deal.

Kris gets on the radio and the first thing he does is mention the wife. I can't deal.

I love working for Famous Monsters. I really, really do. But Image Comics just tweeted about one of my friends being interviewed for his comic. His comic. His own creation. And here I am working for a magazine, doing the interviewing, being the journalist. I never wanted to be a journalist. I love writing articles, but I want to tell my own stories and be interviewed for them. I want to create my own things. I want people to write about MY art. But I'm stuck asking other people about their influences. I can't deal.

I work three fucking jobs and I don't make enough money. I can't deal.

This shit makes me want to take up smoking again.


Tonight I attended a business presentation given by the company my friend works for. I did it as a favor to her. I left with a headache.

I am an artist, not a financier. I find it depressing that making six figures is worth more to people making a difference. I find it sad when I hear about passion being buried below ‘big direct deposits’. I can’t reconcile the phrase ‘achieving your dream’ with ‘getting a bigger paycheck’. I use money as a necessary means of living. I wouldn’t know what to do with a million dollars. I want to tell stories that make the world sing. I live the laws of language. I sit at home in my jeans typing away at ignorance. I drink wine and drink in the people on the sidewalk who populate my poetry. I wear purple and tell the truth. I find solace in livejournal communities. I eat hamburgers and feed the scraps to our fat pom. I shop because it’s gorgeous. I eat because it’s not up to me. I want to have a legacy like Forry’s--eccentric and kind with passion to burn. Old toys instead of new knickknacks. Collages in place of wall paintings. Cracked ceilings, a dark bathroom, and a little bit of scum on my boot.

Character. It’s rare enough.


Meme bomb!!!

Because I'm bored!! Deal with it.

I'm cool and dismissive in my relationships.

BMI 17.9 kg/m2
Ideal Body Weight (BMI 21.5) 146 lbs.
Excess Body Weight -25 lbs.

Self-report Component
Subscale IQ score = 72
Subscale percentile = 4
According to your self-report answers, your emotional intelligence is very poor. People who score like you do feel that they have trouble dealing with their own emotions and those of others. They struggle to overcome difficulties in their lives and they are unable to control their moods. It's hard for them to understand how best to motivate themselves and reach their goals. In addition, they find social interactions quite difficult, for several reasons. They may have trouble allowing themselves to get close with others, finding it difficult to be vulnerable enough to establish intimacy. They also report having trouble offering support to others, likely due to the fact that they do not understand where others are coming from or they lack ideas about how best to help. Perhaps by working on your problem areas, you can become more confident in dealing with your own emotions and those of others.

Being Overwhelmed
Your results indicate that you might be feeling somewhat overwhelmed with your workload, but generally seem to be able to keep things under control. Make sure that your workload doesn't get to the point where it's too much for you to handle, as being swamped with work may result in a loss of interest and motivation.

Well, those were some... depressing results.
Huzzah! I am a nonfeeling bony stressed out emotionally stupid asshole! ::gyrates::


Whiskey-toned photographs!

Had fun with these. They definitely go with my recent rediscovery of dirt and rustic goodness. A few are NSFW.

A gothic Southern belle? I can live with that. ;)Collapse )


I bought a Nook.

Finally caved and did it. My book situation is out of hand. You know it's bad when you start creating book-furniture.

I don't plan on replacing actual books. I am far too much of a nerd for that. But the beauty of a Nook Wi-Fi is that it is the only e-reader on the market that surfs the internet with an e-ink [non-glare] screen.

Why is this awesome? Fanfiction communities.

With the amount of time that I spend hunched over a screen frantically clicking 'next chapter', I think I'm going to be using my Nook [I named him Basil] as a fanfiction reader.


Not that I need more time to waste on fanfiction. But dammit, my eyeballs will be happy.

Story cubes! Fanfic challenge?

So I bought some of these, yesterday: http://www.storycubes.com

And they are fabulous tools for crack!fic. They're even full of images that could be construed as 'fandom cliches' [alien head = 'aliens make them do it!', cell phone = 'sexting fic', castle = 'medieval dragon AU', etc].

So, who's up for picking a fandom - or just doing regular fiction, IDK - and rolling the dice to see what challenges we can come up with?

I thought of crossposting this to communities, but most of the ones I belong to have strict posting rules. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Whiskey Tones.

Inspired by my recent revelation involving Kris Allen and his awesomesauce Southernness [see blog post: http://concretesoul.wordpress.com], I have created a mix lovingly entitled 'Whiskey Tones'.

Rye whiskey makes the band sound better, makes your baby cuter...Collapse )


1. Tell me one thing you love about me.
2. Tell me two things you love about yourself. [This one i'm particularly interested in, so make it good.]
3. Look through the comments... when you see someone you know, tell them three things you love about them.
4. Do this in your journal so I can tell you what I love about YOU - and if you've already done it, tell me so, so that I can go back and give you some love.

Also, slightly unrelated: I love Kris Allen. Read about it here.


Velvet Spacetime: The Soundtrack

This is the accompaniment to a huge-ass science fiction story I'm currently writing that REFUSES TO FUCKING END. GODDAMN.

All my stories have a soundtrack - some are just more explicit than others. ;)

It's just the sound of you and me...Collapse )